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Entry: Pin the tail on the donkey. 02/03/2004 Recently, if you haven't heard Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, aka Benifer called it splits. Also recently I haven't updated the site and have had a constant itch in my lower region. The reason for not updating the site is that I have been doing some scientific research that has taken lots of time, money, and masturbation. The reason for the itch is probably because I slept with that one girl a few weeks back that had some leakage... Anyway, back to the topic at hand, I have spent sleepless nights using mathematical and scientific formulas to find out who is next on J-Lo's list of men. Here is how the process went.
 Lil' Bow Wow is an up and coming pimp, whose got game good enough to snag J-Lo. Don't be fooled by the size of Bow Wow the gold digging ho's he sleeps with will attest that he's a tripod. Unlike Matt Damon, Bow Wow and Jennifer could have a gay nickname, what it is I have no idea but the media is so creative I'm sure they could come up with something regarding Bow Wow and Jennifer, possibly involving her rear end which is supposedly the most godly thing since lotion was created. Another common trait Bow Wow and J-Lo have is that they both have been in horrible movies, and I'm guessing still hope to be in more. The downfall to this equation is that Bow Wow has been spotted with Hillary Duff and well sorry J-Lo but there is nothing like that 16 year old pussy.
 The main catch to this relationship would be publicity. We all know that J-Lo and Britney put out some of pop music's worst music. They have both been in horrible movies, with the only draw being that they were skimpy clothing. Just imagine a moving starring Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez, about two lesbian thieves or something to that effect, but they BOTH get NAKED. Think of the sales that'll bring in. They could live happily ever after, and I could loop the sex scene over and over for the remainder of my life. They would have a great nickname I'm sure. Only thing is that Britney is a female and we know that J-Lo likes the cock, so it would never work. I got through about 3 possible people for J-Lo and got a headache. Not only do I not care who is next for Jennifer Lopez, but I hope they are driving happily along during their first week of huge media publicity and end up swerving into an oncoming big rig. I'm not even worried who the man is, because as we can see through previous relationships J-Lo has had, none of them are actually good at the profession of their choice. P Diddy is a horrible rapper, who knows what that one guy does, and Affleck well he hasn't been in the cream of the crop movies, except for I did like Sum of All Fears. Anyways, J-Lo's a ho, I have aids, and Mexicans are still stupid. Good night. Sorry for the short and unfunny article, I have a final tomorrow and if the Mexican in that class get's a better grade than me, I will be forced to committ suicide. I will be back at full strength sometime this week though.
Replies: 7 comments
as long as your bashing some ethnic..religous...or social group...i dont care Posted by otter @ 02/13/2004 11:39 AM PST So you prefer the religion things or mexican articles? Posted by nerd @ 02/11/2004 03:44 PM PST can we get a funny article any time soon? my thirst for sarcastic ideals on life is going unquenched. thanks Posted by otter @ 02/11/2004 12:55 PM PST Don't know he doesn't speak good enough english so I can't translate what he is saying. Posted by nerd @ 02/05/2004 06:11 PM PST did you get a better grade then the mexican? Posted by otter @ 02/05/2004 11:58 AM PST Wait so an article about absolutley nothing is good work? Posted by nerd @ 02/05/2004 02:33 AM PST Again an article about absolutelly nothing <-- not sure of the spelling but cbf going into word and using spell check. Just want to commend you on your good work.. Btw jen is a god damn ho.. Posted by Brad @ 02/04/2004 11:16 PM PST
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